The only known photograph of the author, as seen on a tin of Uncle Joe's Mint Balls

If you asked me what it is I ‘do’, then I couldn’t give you a straight answer. Or at least, I wouldn’t be able to provide an instant, snappy response as quick as if I were say, just a web designer or graphic artist. In fact, I would say I’m neither of those, though I do occasionally dabble in that sort of thing.

I used to see myself primarily as a humour writer, though not an entirely serious one (I doubt if there ever has been such a thing). Good creative content can’t always be worked towards. Mostly it just comes to you, the rest of the time you’re just waiting for it to happen, soaking in everything going on around you until the time comes for it to flow from your fingers like custard (preferably the nice, thick variety with loads of jam in it) into a bowl when you sit down to type.

More specifically, I love writing and working with weblogs. I suppose they suit my tendency to work in short bursts, slowly building towards a greater good which, in most cases, is never really made entirely clear. Don’t worry, this is because where my projects are concerned, the slow burn is to be expected. Some of the time, anyway.

Let’s say I also like to ‘experiment’ with video editing. Nothing fancy, just enough to convey the message I’m attempting to get across, sometimes subtly but most of the time like trying to hammer a wooden tent peg into a stone paving slab.

Sorry for being so vague, but it’s really hard to pigeon hole one thing I do particularly well or enjoy more than anything else. Anyway, if you wanted the short version it might be better that you stop reading now because the stuff that follows this sentence is yellow water of the verbal variety and isn’t really fit for public consump…

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Vanity Reel: Honours, awards and such

What? Everybody needs an ego boost once in a while, and this section’s mine.

Works exhibited/live performances at…

• Parsons Walk, Wigan (2004): LS Lowry: A Contextual Study
• Pagefield Building, Wigan (2005): Monotony
• Hope Street, Liverpool (2008): Various: Curation of ‘Did You See That Thing?’
• The Site Gallery, Liverpool (2008): Analogue Propaganda
• New Zealand Film Archive, Wellington (2011): Teleglitcher (as part of Dick Whyte’s Critical Cinema and the Internet)
• XL Art Space, Helsinki (2012): International Teletext Art Festival: Various teletext artwork