illarterate - adj. lacking art, knowledge or skill; clumsy or uncultured.
Influences: public toilet cubicle drawings/slogans; WordArt posters in Market Street shop windows; Mega-Zine; bootleg vinyl artwork; Janne Suni; Pink Floyd; whoever is responsible for the Max Headroom hijacking incident; Collie, the Inept Reviewer.
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No-Ammo identity
For a long time, I’ve claimed to be part of the online writing/design/multimedia/whatever group No-Ammo. By that, I mean I’ve been floating about offering critical advice here and there, just generally annoying everyone else with my idleness. Now I decided to get off my big fat butt and actually do something for it. Well, I…
Now available: NPPD Rush Steam trading cards featuring artwork by Illarterate
Oh my, how could I have missed this? As of 27 July, you can collect Steam trading cards featuring designs by Illarterate from Railslave’s NPPD Rush: Milk of Ultra Violet game. Apparently that date has passed, but I wouldn’t know – I live in 1994. But then, you can probably tell from the style of…
Teletext graphics now on At the Races Text
A selection of my teletext graphics can currently be viewed on page 106 of the At The Races teletext service. Here’s a couple of pieces to whet your appetite, but you’ll have to go and look for yourself to see what other stuff I’ve been working on. 😉 Oh no, I can’t get analogue teletext…
Sketchbook art: Venice & Verona, 2005
I always promised myself I’d get round to archiving my old sketchbooks, and this Easter weekend has given me the opportunity to do so. I’ve got about five years of stuff in the attic to go through, so that might take a while but to start, here’s a selection of the best artwork from my…
A load of old Babel: Illarterate hits the back pages! Sort of
Anybody who’s bought a newspaper and looked at the back page today will probably have noticed a particularly poor Photoshop of Howard Webb wearing a Manchester United shirt. This one, in fact: Well, guess who made it? That’s right, some fool whose text you are reading right now. Namely myself. Feel free to peruse the…
International Teletext Art Festival 2013 launches!
Today sees the launch of the International Teletext Art Festival 2013, a Europe-wide event celebrating that forgotten medium of artistic expression, Videotext. Or, if you live in the UK, that method of watching the cricket in text format while making your lunchtime beans on toast. Don’t tell me you’ve never done it! Naturally, your (least)…


Would you like to surf in Hawaii, Mr. Frosty?